Life is full of unexpected twists and turns—stress, loss, uncertainty, and painful moments that can test even the strongest relationships. The way you and your partner navigate challenges together will either result in bringing you closer… or pulling you apart. The key difference- INTENTION.

Becoming A Team Matters Now, Perhaps More Than Ever

These days, many couples are feeling particularly overwhelmed—the political climate, economic and financial concerns, worries about the environment, and uncertainty of what lies ahead combined with the typical stressors of work, family, health, and life… well… life-ing… can create a sense of almost unbearable overwhelm. And when life feels heavy and hard, especially when BOTH people are affected, the relationship that we desire to be our greatest source of support… can sometimes feel like yet another stressor. 

Stress and fear have a powerful way of creating distance rather than connection. Butand, if you can be intentional about truly partnering through hard times, you can create something unshakable—a relationship that becomes a safe harbor, no matter what life throws our way.

The Key Difference: Intention

Whether your relationship will grow stronger or weaker in difficult times will be determined by your level of intention. It is inevitable that challenges will come. The couples who navigate them successfully don’t necessarily have fewer hardships; they simply approach them differently. They choose, again and again, to stand together rather than apart.

When stress arises, it’s easy to default to reactive patterns—blame, withdrawal, shutting down, or getting stuck in a cycle of frustration. But when we bring intention to how we show up, we shift from reacting to conscious responding. We choose connection over isolation, teamwork over division, and understanding over assumption. This single shift in approach makes all the difference.

What To Be Intentional About

Ok, so you want to be more intentional. Butand… intentional about what, exactly? Let’s look at a few conscious mindset shifts and intentional actions you can take that are going to help you stay a team through the tough times: 

1. Shift from ‘Me vs. You’ to ‘Us vs. the Challenge’

When stress hits, it’s easy to get caught up in blame, frustration, projection, or withdrawal. In any of these reactions, you’re unconsciously positioning your partner as the threat, the opponent, the “problem.” This energy and mindset will result in reinforcing that experience, igniting defensiveness in both of you and add to your stress and unhappiness. (Check out this blog for great tips for understanding and disarming defensiveness in your relationship.)

Instead, you need to make a conscious decision to reframe the situation: My partner is my teammate. How can we tackle this together?

Rather than letting stress pit you against each other, you are anchoring yourself in the belief… the knowing that you two are a team— and one that, when working together, can handle anything. Remind yourself and your partner that you’re in this together, fighting the challenge, not each other.

It can be easy to forget this. Remind yourself of it often, even when parts of you may find it hard to believe. When you choose to hold this as a foundational assumption about your relationship and act accordingly, it will become so. 

2. Prioritize Connection

When emotions are high and our bodies are in a state of stress, connection takes a backseat. Yet it is connection that will nourish your relationship and keep you and your partner on the same team and fueled with the strength and energy you need to keep going through your challenges. 

So, since connection may not happen as automatically when you are stressed, you need to make it intentional and make it a priority. Little things, like taking a pause before reacting, hugging one another, a deep breath together, or an “I love you” in the middle of a tense moment go a long way in creating greater safety and connection in the storm. Butand, don’t forget the big things either. Make time for intimacy, for dreaming together, and for fun and play. Despite the challenges you’re facing, your relationship (and your life) can (and must) hold space for joy and connection at the same time. You are meant to do more than just “get through.”

Though these acts of connection may seem insignificant, unimportant, or even hard to do in the moment, know that they are NECESSARY for building a foundation of trust and reassurance that strengthens your relationship and supports you two in navigating challenges powerfully and together. For tips on creative ways to increase your connection, click here!

3. Own Your Feelings and Turn Toward Each Other

As intentional as you are, you’ll still find that hard times will bring up a bit more defensiveness, frustration, or the temptation to shut down. Be gentle with yourself and your partner when this happens, and instead of pulling away or lashing out, be open and honest about what’s happening within you.

That might look like naming your stress, acknowledging any judgment or defensiveness that arises, and sharing your sadness, overwhelm, or fear, or sharing the perceptions or stories that are playing through your mind. Turn toward your partner with transparency and vulnerability, not so they can fix it, but so that they may know and support you as you navigate your own emotional experience. This won’t feel easy to do, so set the intention, make the commitment, and keep practicing it.

4. Decide on a ‘Go-To’ Grounding Practice

Every couple needs an anchor—something that instantly reminds you both that you’re in this together. This is an intentional cue for both of you to stop and remember that you are, indeed,  a team who is in this TOGETHER! 

You might come up with a shared mantra, a morning check-in ritual, a physical gesture (like placing a hand over their heart), or even a silly inside joke that lightens the mood. Whatever it is, having this simple yet intentional grounding practice can help you both reconnect when things feel chaotic, tense, or difficult, reminding you of the love and partnership you share and of your commitment to staying on the same team. 

The Power of Building This Habit

When you and your partner commit to these intentional practices, your relationship becomes a foundation of strength and safety. It allows for challenges to result in growth and deepening within and between you two. Instead of hard times creating distance, they bring you closer.

When you’re intentional about how you want to engage in your relationship during a hard time, you learn to navigate uncertainty as a team—with deeper trust, connection, and resilience. And (my favorite part of this practice) is that you will get to a place where you feel safe, seen, and supported by your partner—no matter what life throws your way.

Consciously choose to stand together rather than apart in difficult moments, and you won’t just survive challenges—you will build an unshakable love that can weather any storm.

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If you’re ready to strengthen and elevate your relationship, and you’re looking for the support of people who get it, live it, and can help you master the shifts and skills you need, then apply to work with us! 

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