After being in the relationship support space for more than a decade, Cal and I have discovered the recipe for deep and lasting transformation. We call it, the PowerfuLove Method– Three pillars, integral to everything we do, that guide and inform our proven process of creating meaningful change. These pillars have always been present in our work, but the clarity of naming them solidified their importance. And today, we want to share them with you– because whether or not you work with us, you will need all three of these keys to unlock your relationship’s true potential.

Pillar 1: Liberate- Free Yourself First

This pillar is about your personal and relational liberation. It’s about breaking free from the unconscious patterns and programming that dictate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We all carry inherited, unconscious, unchosen narratives. These are the "shoulds," the automatic nervous system responses, the disempowering beliefs, the self-soothing vices we use to stay in our comfort zones, and the carousel-like patterns we go round and round on in our relationships. 

If you want to truly transform your relationship, you must liberate yourself from the limiting beliefs, old baggage, societal conditioning, and stuck patterns that no longer serve you. In our work with clients, we teach a framework called empowered accountability– which recognizes that you have both the power and the responsibility to shape your subjective experiences and the unfolding of what comes next. Embodying this framework… engaging in liberation… requires you to step into courage, anchor into your true power, and take ownership of your life.

A coach once told me, "None of us are truly free until we are consciously choosing our thoughts and responses." Otherwise, we’re just operating on unconscious autopilot– which is what most of us are doing all the time; it’s our brain’s default to conserve energy! Real freedom, however, comes from mastering our own minds and actions instead of letting our minds and re-actions control us. You have the ability to rewire your brain through conscious effort, and that’s the essence of liberation.

Pillar 2: Learn– The Path to Growth

If Liberate is about breaking free, Learn is about gaining the tools to build something new or better. Learning is an invitation into greater self-awareness, self-reflection, and relational intelligence.

Most of the struggles we experience in relationships happen because we were never TAUGHT how to relate effectively. Relational intelligence is arguably the most crucial form of intelligence, (because everything is relationships!) yet it’s rarely prioritized in our education. Instead, we learn how to relate, what to expect, how to react… from our parents, media, and our culture. And unfortunately, MOST of what we learn is incomplete, doesn’t work, or is straight up unhealthy, unhelpful, and even harmful. Yet because most people don’t intentionally unlearn and relearn how to do relationships… the patterns and dynamics continue to be repeated. 

And while there are specific tools, frameworks, and approaches that we teach (and believe are essential to know in order to have happy, healthy relationships that last)... we also understand that EVERY challenge you encounter in your relationship is another opportunity for you to learn and grow. Approaching conflicts, disconnection, or fears with the mindset of “What is this teaching me?”, will create space for your ongoing transformation. Remember, growth often comes through mistakes—we learn best by taking risks, messing up, and course correcting from there.

Pillar 3: Lead with Love– Step Into Your Power

Love is not just that warm feeling—it’s an active choice of extending one’s self for the highest good and spiritual growth of one’s self or another. The love WE believe in… is an act of leadership. It’s about stepping up, taking responsibility for your role in the relationship, and actively working toward growth.

In our work, this pillar is about the steps you take– how your liberation and learning show up in application to your relationship. Truly loving another requires self-leadership, accountability, and the courage to show up with authenticity and integrity. It means that YOU take the lead in the dance of relationship, rather than passively waiting for your partner to change the dance, or things to improve on their own.

Leading with love can look like a lot of things, but here are some examples of what we mean:

• Choosing love over fear, even when vulnerability feels risky.
• Holding yourself accountable to own your part of the problem and the solution, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Initiating the hard conversations instead of avoiding them.
• Challenging yourself and your partner to grow, rather than staying in what’s easy and known.
• Balancing the well-being of yourself and your partner, participating as a teammate in an effort to ensure that both of you can thrive.

You have more power than you may realize to shape your relationship. Don’t give that power away– step into it, own it, and apply it. BE the love you wish to experience, take new steps toward more and better, and consciously CHOOSE your moves as you build the relationship of your dreams. 

.Bringing It All Together

Each of these three pillars—Liberate- (Who you be), Learn- (What you know), and Lead with Love (How you do)—is essential to creating a next-level relationship that delights you and supports ALL of your dreams. Imagine a three-legged stool: if one pillar is missing, the whole structure collapses. Liberation without learning leads to misdirected energy. Learning without love becomes intellectual but ineffective. Love without liberation can lead to self-sacrifice or codependency. You need all three. 

So, I invite you to reflect:

• In what ways do you need to free yourself from patterns and programming that aren’t serving you?
• Where do you need to elevate your skills, self-awareness, or understanding?  
• How can you lead with love—choosing courage, accountability, and growth in your relationships?

Transformation happens when we commit to all three—concurrently, consistently, and courageously. This is the heart of the Powerful Love Method, and it’s an invitation to step fully into your growth, your relationships, and your life…

Trust us… the transformation that follows is WELL worth the ride. 

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If you’re ready to strengthen and elevate your relationship, and you’re looking for the support of people who get it, live it, and can help you master the shifts and skills you need, then apply to work with us! 

And, for more great information and tips for improving your relationship(s), join our mailing list and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.